Biographers tell us this guy was kind of a sweetheart, but I prefer to think of him as a fierce warrior and someone you wouldn't want to rile up. Accordingly, I think we should feed him a Uyghur meal. The food will be entirely familiar to him, since the Uyghurs were among the peoples united in his great Mongolian Empire. I can see him in his funny fur hat sitting in the fluorescently lit confines of Arzu, gnawing on a crisp fistful of charcoal-grilled sweetbreads, or a huge, lamb-filled manti dumpling. We'd make him park his curved sword by the door.

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